poverty and love

- an excerpt from sharon's novel, "poverty and love"

"love comes in colors and poverty iz always white"
indigo

chamele
i've been looking for indigo all my life.

on the shadow of my basement bedroom. indigo dances around a fire. i giggle quietly. she helps me up and holds me tight and sings LOUD. a song without words. it makes my heart beat at the same time as hers. we play together inside the warm womb of our birth. she is my twin. we look alike except her spirit is too big for this tiny space and she pushes herself out and disappears. i rush to follow her.

indigo is love. indigo; has cleopatra eyes, burnt almond skin, untameable raven curls, a nymph body, muscled legs with shapely calves, and venusian mounds. when she smiles back at me, her luminescent teeth glisten through sanguine moist lips. her basso timbre resonates as sacred music. when indigo moves she radiates an unbridled sensuality with no lines dividing her from the eroticism of nature. just being around indigo reveals shakti. indigo is celestial. i didn't always know it was indigo i waz lookin' for, but i'll get to that.

me i'm sorta average. brown eyes, brown skin, and a largish nose. short in the eyes of the western world that i spend mosta my time walking through. there ain't nothing venusian about my mounds. indigo strides right into the face of dreams and wears them easily. they hang just right on her. chamele now, that's me, dreams just turn me into a quivering mass. scared. so mostly i just blend into whomever and whatever color iz around. chamele. chameleon. i can change colors depending on the day, but my true essence iz always average.

there waz some color when i waz in the womb. i have a vague sense of indigo, torquoise, purple, orange, green and red. something musta been happenin' cuz from the time i know myself i can remember emotions making me feel colors. but, by the time i was born, dad was on a quick slide into a washed out black exterior. mom was outta hand in her milky white shell. mom's color all washed out and hidden by life's color blind sex crime a long time ago.

i didn't always know i was looking for indigo. at first i was jus lookin for any kinda love. besides indigo had left me, why would i want to find her. so i jus took on/in color...any color. all of us have a whole palette of colors to choose from--if your lucky and not poor white. like when poverty strikes and color is knocked out of you or faded away by hard times.

Mercury Retrograde & Other Stories by Women
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